Another medical doctor colleague (in his late fifties) has this observation framed on his office wall, summarizing the cycle of life: Life is graded on a curve.
“Old” is when the porn you bring home is “Debby Does Dialysis.” “Old” is when your doctor doesn’t give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light.
Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear and she said, “Mabel, did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear? “My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup.” “Yes, I know. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few . The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old.” “Well, it’s not all bad. ” A couple in their nineties were both having problems remembering things. ” “Sure.” “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it? “No, I can remember it.” “Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
During a checkup, the doctor told them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Maybe you should write it down, so you won’t to forget it? You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.” “I’d also like whipped cream. I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
In fact, they were more satisfied now than they had been ten years ago in most ways that the research had evaluated.
As I listened, I was doing the math and realized that today’s seventy-year olds were in their late twenties and early thirties when the sexual revolution was going on. I have no idea when this was written, but given the increasing longevity of seniors, I think that we could easily add another decade of “success is having money” at age 60 and in doing so, find that at 70 “success is having sex.” I know that many of my clients would agree and in about 15 years, I hope to agree as well.
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