" "Sure," she said, "but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first." --Louis Allard 30.My friend John and I, determined to see the world, signed on to a Norwegian freighter as deckhands.
After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. Anytime companies merge, employees worry about layoffs.
The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds." "Sweetheart," my mother gently chided, "this is not the Internet." --M. When the company I work for was bought, I was no exception.
One of the early stories: A wealthy New Yorker, "dressed in the Abercrombie & Fitch version of What a Man Should Wear in the Wilderness," walks up to a laconic Maine lobsterman. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder. My husband decided to install a light switch in our master bedroom. An active member of women's lib groups, she often shows up at work wearing buttons featuring feminist slogans. A woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy along with her seven-year-old son. He replied, "You're thin and beautiful." The woman reached into her purse and gave her son the money. When a nun collapsed in the sales representative's office at our time-share resort, the rep ran to the front-desk manager. "Well," said the rep, "aren't you going to do anything?
Readers were sending in their hysterical true stories in droves, and the editors here had a revelation: "Great! " And thus was born Life in These United States, the first of our humor departments, which was soon followed by All in a Day's Work and Humor in Uniform. A few minutes later, he returned to my nurse's station with an empty cup. It didn't help matters when the admitting nurse asked me, "Have you had a hysterectomy before? Watching a movie recently, I couldn't hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women in front of me. "This is a private conversation." --David Carver 6. " I ran in and quickly realized that his next task would be to fix the hole he had made in the back of our medicine cabinet. The minute I walked into the post office, the postmaster noticed the new earrings my husband had given me. A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop. With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard: "Going to the barber's." Within seconds we had our ride. A male friend of mine, an engineer at an aircraft company, works for a woman supervisor.
We were being trained as helmsmen, and John's first lesson was given by the mate, a seasoned but gentle white-haired seafarer.